Let's be real about something: meeting someone from an online listing for the first time carries a specific kind of risk, and pretending it doesn't helps nobody. The good news is that almost all of that risk is manageable with a few habits that become second nature fast. None of this is about being paranoid. It's about being an adult about it so you can actually relax and enjoy yourself.
Pick the right place. This is rule one and it covers most of what follows. A public spot, ideally one you already know, during hours when it's open and populated. A coffee shop, a busy bar, a restaurant with foot traffic out front. Not your place, not their place, not a hotel room, not a car in a parking lot. The first meeting exists so you can look someone in the eye, hear their voice, and get a read on whether they match the person you've been texting. You can't do that in a parked car.
Tell someone where you're going. You don't need to share life details. Just text a friend the name of the place, the approximate time you expect to be there, and check in when you leave. If nobody's available, write it down somewhere accessible. This isn't dramatic. It's what people who do this regularly do without thinking about it.
Watch for the soft signals. Does the person look like their photos? Are they where they said they'd be, when they said they'd be there? Are they sober and present? Do they seem comfortable, or are they rushed, distracted, or pushing to move the meeting somewhere else fast? None of these are automatic dealbreakers, but they're data points, and you should collect them before you commit to anything more than a drink.
Keep your details yours. Your home address, your real phone number if you're using a burner, your workplace, your schedule, your financial information. These come later, if at all, and only when you have a reason to trust someone with them. The internet is full of people who are exactly who they say they are. It's also full of people who aren't. You won't know which is which in the first hour.
Trust the feeling that something's off. If your gut says the situation is wrong, leave. You don't need a reason that would hold up in court. You need a reason that's good enough for you, and 'I'm not feeling this' is plenty. The cost of walking away from a bad meeting is a slightly awkward exit. The cost of staying in one can be much worse. Be willing to be rude.
Don't overthink it. This all sounds like a lot, but in practice it's five minutes of planning before you walk out the door and a handful of habits that run in the background while you're focused on the person across from you. The goal isn't to make the first meeting feel like a security checkpoint. It's to make it feel easy, because you've already handled the basics and you can just be present.